Talk about the week from hell. I made it through all the emotional turmoil of three suicides in one week. The killer emotional roller coaster was definitely Saturday when we laid down to rest my step son Richard Johns whose life was suddenly ended at his own hands. Rick was the son of my first wife Debbie and a first crack at fatherhood for me in my earlier years.
I lost track of him, as well as Debbie for many years until the day came when I met my first natural son Kevin also born to Debbie just a few years ago. The journey to the past brought visits with many that loved me in those days. The warmth of the day came from revisiting times of old. It amazed me at how comforting it actually was. I had not seen Debbie in 30 years. The day was celebrated with many memories of Rick. He was quite the amazing father himself. He left behind 3 children from 2 marriages. A little over a year ago he divorced his wife Jennifer, the mother of two of their babies. Apparently, that was a mess. The pressures of the times, the divorce conditions, the alimony, the child support, the physical sickness he endured, a house in foreclosure and other conditions brought about a mood that I guess he just didn't want to be here anymore.
Visiting, consoling, music and the like made the day as wonderful as the day could be considering the circumstances. It was a great feeling to support Kevin who was very close to Rick. Got to see my daughter-in-law Brenda and yup, that special little granddaughter of mine Kendra. I felt strong enough to strengthen Kevin for the loss. He was strong, although it was obvious, his real feelings were on the surface.
Then it snapped...the mood changed and the situation was a set of circumstances like I have never ever witnessed before in my life. I learned about Satan that day as well. I learned she had "boobs", and fake ones at that. OMG, the wrath of a woman, the ex-wife from hell. She decided not to go to the memorial service. I pondered that as I heard about it, the thought that it meant that Rick's children were not afforded the opportunity to say good-bye to their Dad, the lack of respect she displayed not being there and the obvious hate she had for Rick...and quite frankly, for life itself. Are you serious? What makes a person hate so much, gives a person permission to disrespect so much and even teach children this lesson? I was floored.
Brittany, Rick's oldest daughter from his first marriage was there despite this set of circumstances. She was amazingly strong, spoke of the joys, the pains and the love she shared with her father. A military funeral took place and the emotion of the flag being handed over to her was very emotional.
We all moved on to a reception dinner and Satan stepped up again. Now brace yourself for this one. Remember, earlier I had told you Rick's house was in foreclosure? My son Kevin, some of his friends and Brittany moved all of his furniture and personal belongings to a storage unit figuring that the Lender would be taking possession of the house sometime soon...a pretty normal thing to do, no? So Satan calls the police on the day of the memorial and attempts to have Kevin arrested. They actually called him at the memorial reception to warn him that they were coming to get him. They did come and Brittany indicated that she took all of the things, not Kevin, making it ok, as she is his daughter and lived in the house with Rick.
You are serious!!! This woman pulled all of this off with absolutely no remorse, paving her karmic road for the future. I have gone my way a few times in my life and have always, always been as loving as the day we fell in love, especially since children were involved.
I am reminded of many of my music friends that have been married and divorced several times with anger, remorse and even death. I am reminded of love lost that once was found. I am reminded that anger is Satan's greatest tool. I am reminded of how truly I am blessed to have been married to honorable women, all but one that is, that had the class enough to let us go with honor, in honor of the love we shared, rather than whatever it was that broke us up.
I highly encourage those of you that follow this blog that are friends of mine that complain about personal tragedy with their men or women to use this as a teaching moment... a moment that you cherish, rather than despise as did Jennifer. I leave with this major question. How, just how, can a love that is once found, be lost with such hate? How can you, as a woman bear children for a man, be one with one another at some earlier time, and justify such behavior?
And then, as my sixteen year old singing wonder Alexis says, "What About Me", you know, the child you both had together...in this case 3 of them. How will they fair through their life when they figure it all out?
Makes me really think about the words of my daughter Jenna when she first came to me concerned about the hurt she felt when I divorced her mother. It's now 14 years later and she still hasn't gotten over it and she was anxious to see the end of the current relationship. Paying attention to the things that really matter in life, might serve as a cool piece of advice for all of us...and you know how I am about children...it's the responsibility of all of us to protect them at all costs...and that includes "mental" abuse as this woman has laid down as part of her karmic debt.
As a Dad, it goes without saying that I was literally crushed, emotional and certainly hurt to see a son and even a step-son go through this horror. So I ran away again, after it was all over...and I am not telling where I am or when I am coming back. Ireland worked last round, but not this time. There is a favorite place somewhere in the US I love to be...so if you know me well enough, you know where I'm at...and if you're not busy come on down, but bring your swimming suits and a couple of guitars, cause I suck at guitar but I am writing on this occassion for sure.
The drag of it all, I knew something weird was coming from a recent reading from Anne in Ireland...and where is Carlos and Amanada through all of this? That mystery woman scared them off suggesting I was ready for my own credits in life...oh sweetie, how'd you get so smart? Thanks for being there in their place, because you truly were, way more than you know. Thanks to everyone of you that have been with me on this emotional journey. I have tried to respond to all of the emails I have recieved from all of you. I know I am loved and cared for...and I am so thankful for that, especially at this time.
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