Mourning The Loss Of A Friend, A Songwriting Soulmate

Today we lay down to rest one of my dearest friends Tommi Jordan, as we call her TJ in Los Angeles, California. This is a special Child of God that I wrote over 200 songs with who took her life just last week. I dedicate this day to you my special friend.

FREINDS
By Pat Melfi

It makes my heart glad to know that we were friends
And I want to tell you how much I cared about you,
how often I thought about you
It is comforting to know, how you helped me grow
The song and voice in your heart, made my music such an art
It’s comforting to know that we were friends
That we shared our thoughts in confidence with each other
That we listened to one another, that we cared for one another
With love…although just really good friends
That we wrote music together, through stormy weather
Oh TJ, one of my music soulmates…I love you girl

It makes my heart sad, your life went so bad
That you chose to leave, surely makes my heart grieve
Go with joy, meet your God
We will see one another again when I am through here on earth
TJ, I love you so…I am sad you chose to go
TJ, I wish you would have called to let me know
That today would be my day to let you go…


Dedicated to my special songwriting friend Tommi Jordan (TJ) who chose to go with an over abundance of sleeping pills today, September 24, 2009 in Los Angeles California. May you be at peace. I love you TJ and will finish our unfinished work in remembrance of you, my special co-writer and incredibly gifted vocalist. You were truly amazing. May God receive you home today with peace in his arms, tears in his eyes, love in his heart and all the blessings that are available to those of us who love God, despite his ways. You TJ did love God. I am blessed because of that strength you provided me. TJ, this really hurts but this too shall pass. Go with God TJ. See you sometime down the road.

This is a special song just for you. Playing it at your funeral was enough to make the world cry for the loss of such a talented singer/songwriter. Be at rest child.

TOO MUCH TO BELIEVE

It’s three o’clock in the morning
That ole north star is barely showing
I talk as if you hear me
Cause my heart believes you’re near me
There’s evidence you’re here
Just out of sight

(CHORUS)
I’ve never seen the wind blow
But I see it in the leaves
Can’t feel the force that holds me down
But I believe in gravity
Can’t touch the sunlight through my window
But I feel it on my skin
So is it TOO MUCH TO BELIEVE
You’re right here again

Bobby says I’m going crazy
Preacher’s telling me that maybe
I need a little more time
But I’ve got reasons why I swear
I feel you touching me again

(CHORUS)
(BRIDGE)
Is it what you see or what you feel
That tells you what is real

(CHORUS)

This is dedicated to my songwriting soul mate. We will all miss your tender Spirit. You were truly loved, especially by me.

I Loved Those Days

Cover of 52nd Street

Meat Loaf never made it in L.A. Spin "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" and an Angeleno will be flummoxed. Who's Phil Rizzuto? Sure, decades later we've heard it, but "Bat Out Of Hell" was in no one's collection, the record got no airplay. And Billy Joel got little more.

Sure, "Piano Man" was a hit. And "The Stranger" made headway, but on the left coast Billy Joel was not a superstar. Even to this day, he might be able to sell out Yankee Stadium, but in the City of Angels he's lucky if he can sell out an arena.

When we get nostalgic for the seventies in LaLa Land, we think about Van Halen, we wax rhapsodic about the new wave club scene. The concept of a Billy Joel radio concert on KMET is laughable. But surfing the Web over the weekend I found just that, an FM broadcast of a Billy Joel concert at Nassau Coliseum back in 1977.

Over dinner, I'll tell you how to find these things. Then again, if you don't already know how, the information will be useless. You've got to search blogs, download via RapidShare or Megaupload, and then decompress the .rar file with an application you've downloaded from the Web. In an era where most people who might want to hear this show don't even know where files download on their computer, this info might as well be etched in hieroglyphics. But if you've got a bit of savvy, the rewards are endless.

Not everything's a hit. That Zeppelin show from Long Beach might be straight from the soundboard, but one listen was enough. But those Rolling Stones alternative takes were magical. And this Billy Joel concert is pristine.

They've even got the soundcheck. It's an aural backstage pass.

And it takes a couple of numbers to get the sound right.

But then...

I thought Billy Joel was a joke until 1981, when he released "Songs In The Attic", a live reworking of his overlooked material from the seventies. I mean who wouldn't hate a guy posing with an instrument he didn't play on the cover of his album? I still don't love "52nd Street", but "Summer, Highland Falls" brings me right back to my youth, working at a camp in the Catskills. And it's not pure nostalgia, I can't forget where I am now.

"We are always what our situations hand us Either sadness or euphoria"

Ain't that the truth. Maybe it's because I hate the middle of the road. But that seems to be the story of my life. And I wouldn't have it any other way. If I fall on my face reaching for the stars, it's a small price to pay for that warm feeling inside when I triumph.

I was high in the mountains, listening to this concert on my iPod, and I could see the history of our business in relief.

Billy Joel could certainly play. You could hear all those piano lessons. And his voice was still high and clear. And the lyrics, Billy was saying something.

Billy didn't make it the first time out. He failed with the Hassles, his deal with Artie Ripp didn't deliver a hit album. He ended up in L.A., playing in a bar. And ended up with a song, the aforementioned "Piano Man". And trying to follow it up, executing upon the same formula, "The Entertainer" immediately ejected serious listeners from his fan base. An artist doesn't repeat himself, he keeps exploring.

"Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile"

Today's artists are built in a day. They buy a Mac, fire up GarageBand and record a track, post it on MySpace, immediately e-mail you an MP3, insist you pay attention. Whereas it used to be much harder to make it. You had to practice, play endless gigs, fight for a chance to get a deal. Where it still might take you multiple albums to break through.

But today it's as if anybody who buys a ticket can play for the Yankees. And you wonder why we've stopped watching?

The major labels say they purvey the official merchandise. But if they're not selling kids wet behind the ears, they're selling safe shit like "The Entertainer". And suddenly able to have a voice, outsiders insist you listen to them, now they can broadcast their desire to be famous, even though they should be home practicing.

In other words, Billy Joel is just fantastic.

And that's a surprise three decades on. He was a niche player back then. A journeyman. And his multiple marriages and car wrecks have made him a modern joke. But at least he's smart enough to stop recording. Oh, he can still play, but he seems to have run out of things to say.

And he used to have plenty he wanted to tell us. Especially when he still hadn't made it, even after his first hit, when no one seemed to care.

In other words, we're no longer getting the best and the brightest. They're going into tech. Where you can operate unfettered and make real money. Shit, you can't get rich in music, you can't get enough people to pay attention. It's not efficient. And maybe it's this lack of efficiency, the wasted effort, that will finally deliver music worth hearing in the future.

There are no shortcuts. You aren't born being able to program in C++, nor can a three year old play the piano. And those thirteen or fourteen, even seventeen or eighteen, haven't lived enough to have anything worth listening to. It's the rough edges, the hard life, that makes your stories interesting. Billy Joel ran away from his record label and played in a piano bar to survive. Today's kids quit the soccer team and cut a record on their computer and now they're ready for world domination. Huh?

"They say that these are not the best of times But they're the only times I've ever known"

That's the problem, we baby boomers lived through the sixties and seventies. And today's generation, our brethren purveying pabulum, want us to forget this golden age. An alternative take of "Gimmie Shelter" came over my iPod and I got goosebumps. I remembered hearing it for the first time in my buddy's bedroom and being transfixed. Hate to tell you, nothing Wilco's ever done is close.

Get pissed off. But as good as Wilco might be, bands of that caliber never made it in years past. Wilco was Poco. A good band that had fans, but not superstars. I'm waiting for superstars to return.

The Choice Is Yours

Queen via last.fm

I have focused this site mostly on the business side of my journey, the motivational, inspiration and leadership skills that seem to have placed me in the top of the league among my piers in both the music business and real estate endeavors.

Most of you know that I have always been accused of being direct. No grey in this guy's life...its either black or white, no in between. Some have even said they would either love me or hate me, but either way, they would know where they stand. I have found over the years that more people than less, actually respect that part of me.

So in that light, today I want to talk about wimps. You know, the ones that sit around and complain about everything and take no action to change the situation and make our world a better place.

I have just come through, to say the very least, a brutal week, but I am going to share with you, exactly what I did about it to bury the emotion, pick up the pieces and just plain move on...and remember as you read this "Love Never Fails" and there are countless references to the subject...pay attention!!!

On September 24 I lost a dear friend that I have written so many songs with, Tommi Jordan who took her life by an overdose of sleeping pills. There is the mystery of why, but then, why go there? She flat crashed under pressure. Now I don't want you to think I am hardcore and not sensitive. There are but a few very close to me, that I confide in, who truly know of the war between my music and the women in my life. One in particular I shared this message of death with in Salt Lake City, UT comes along and says "God is surrounding you with angels to help you with your own music, ever think of that?" So I'm thinking I have spent all of my life in service to others producing concert tours, artist careers and records etc.,and so maybe it's so. I am weak, sad and I mean, I am seriously crying over Tommi, TJ as we all called her. But who is this mystery woman with such great wisdom and why all of a sudden is it so strong, afterall we met 5 years ago but she was just a baby then, now she has blossomed and matured beyaond any mans wildest imagination? Maybe later. Damn man, it feels like Sleepless In Seatle only it's Salt Lake City.

So I am bracing to get ready for the course ahead without TJ, just minding my own damn business on September 25th. Yeah, I could of even be pouting, been emotional, maybe even a little disfunctional for the day, and...then, I get this call. I pick up the call with an attitude. Could be a good or a bad call, be positive right? So it's my daughter-in-law Brenda. Now I am smiling right cause I love her to death...wrong! She will comfort me right? She did for a minute expressing her sorrow about TJ, but then...comes the message that my step-son took his life today, "took a gun to his head, pulled the trigger, now he's dead" as Queen would say. Now I am really ready to lose it. Talk about a punch in the face. I am speechless, call Jenna my daughter and ravish through some thought after a fight with another woman and again, my mystery woman pulls me through the journey in a subliminal way with her compasionate words. She is treading lightly now, because she, as I, are completely unable to understand the nature of this part of the journey, but she is there and I am out in lala land by now. My first question to her, "Do you believe in God?" She says, "of course I do, you know that." "I am very concerned about this person we call God", I say to her. "Why" she asks. He says to me all the time, "Just keep going", says God. And I'm like "sure, it's easy for you to say, why don't you try going through this?" When all of a sudden I realize God is not only going through it with me, He is driving the car...so I get a glimpse of hope because He brought me her to help me through...Who would have ever known? She comforts with words, she utters the words of truth and love, displays the meaning of the word beauty...she is drop dead gorgious.

So I run away, jet off to Clonakilty, Ireland for the weekend to hideaway in my my favorite place in the world, escape from my emotions, figure out the new mystery woman's role of wisdom in my world, write a bucnh of songs and yeah...flat ass run away. Who wouldn't? I go here because it's peaceful, sits on the water in the south part of Cork County and, pretty much I can just say FU to the world. On the plane ride over, I get this melody rolling around in my head, team it up with some lyrics I had written for the mystery woman weeks ago with TJ and start charting what I am going to do when I get another session in a studio somewhere...thinking somewhere in Ireland would be nice, where they really get country music, where the feel is real, the roots are strong and people don't just screw with commercialized bullshit words to fit and meter to a particular groove in an awesome melody...kind of like a man and a woman truly in love, in the heat of a heightened love session...you know the kind...the feeling of oneness with each other, but I am here for a reading. Man I want that sometime in this life...a woman that will just take me for who I am and not what I do. "Suddenly" is the feeling that I get as I get into Ireland. Everything that is happening is happening "Suddenly." Quick !!! Attitude adjustment, it can be cool, be a drag or I could even consider following these special folks in my life that chose to just check out. Yeah, just for one minute, I go there. You would too, don't lie to me or yourself, its a normal thought.

So I get off the plane in Dublin, it's just beautiful even in the dark. My friend Tomas picks me up, gives me the big Irish adda' boy, chipper up lad, let's go have a wee bit of Guiness, get some sleep and write it all down in the am, pour it out in a MIDI file like syrup on a pancake. Man I was a just a wreck. All I could do was cry and I did. I cried so much that I made myself sick, conjested with headaches, torn emotions and the like. We are in the car I'm thinking, to begin the journey to Cork, which is a long drive. He tells me a friend of his is going fly us to Cork in his personal jet and I 'm so tired now, crying in pain, I don't even give a shit. Just get me to a bed and maybe even some sleeping pills...maybe I can follow TJ and my son Rick...just for a minute...I'm ok, but human. Who wouldn't follow loved ones?

Anyway, somehow through all of this shit, I get my head screwed on straight with words of inspiration rolling around in my head from the Salt Lake City, UT mystery woman, Tomas and even TJ dropping in to say "I am sorry for leaving you."..when I realize that everything is "SUDDENLY BEAUTIFUL." Yikes, attitude adjustment. One would probably pay to see this shit in a movie. I am just one with balls enough to share this shit with you because you have told me you care over and over again. I tell Tomas what I am thinking and he says "let's record it." I'm like, "now?" He's like, "yeah, right now." We are in a plane but I have no clue that this plane belongs to some producer friend of his and is all set up with portable gear to capture ideas in the air. I am smiling now, even through the pain, music to my ears and quite honestly, everything became even more "SUDDNELY BEAUTIFUL." I got 2 deaths behind me (well 24-48 hours behind me), I am in Ireland (who wouldn't want that), I am a musician in a plane with a recording studio (beats a bad orgasm) and I got the mystery woman on my mind to have the orgasm with...shit man, what else does a guy need right? Everything is "SUDDENLY BEAUTIFUL."

By now you have to be getting it. The greatest of losses in life still carry the same formula I have shared with you for years. Point A to Point B is no farther than the distance between your ears man...Your attitude is EVERYTHING!!! Everything cool so far?

Not so fast my friend. Now I get a text message out of New York right after we record "SUDDENLY BEAUTIFUL" and land, which by the way, didn't come with that orgasm from the mystery woman...cause she wasn't there...LOL !!!

Noel Taylor, one of my good friends, a producer during my tenure as the VP at MCA Records freakin dies of an overdose of sleeping pills...fuck man, what the hell? Now I am really pissed, I might even consider taking my favorite Bible verse of the day off my damn blog. I mean what kind of God would do all this to me in one week? I am thinking, all this loss, all this confusion in my life with my mystery woman, the pshchic who is driving me nuts, the music and now, holy shit, 3 funerals in one week to look forward to.

Talk about some shit !!! Listen up and listen close. If you ALAWAYS are in control of your thoughts, you can drift in and out of space like I have done here and still achieve a great goal. The world is a better place when we "believe in angels. Mystery woman, wherever you are, you have built the foundation under my roadway to survival just by sharing one thought. Thank you, I will love you forever for this, you may even be the lost chord I have been looking for. Who would have ever thought about an umbillical chord, one cut at the gates of heaven, for the purpose of the journey to earth, only to re-unite at a most likely untimely time...all along I thought it had something to do with the theory of music, instead, it's the theory of love and life."

Always remember that I love all of you that come and go on this site, pass your love and remarks to me and never forget the words of Napolean Hill; "A Winner Never Quits And A Quitter Never Wins." Even when shit happens, the "choice" is still yours on how you look at it. So to TJ, Rick and Noel, I will always love you, I will miss you and I may even see you down the line...I will finish all the music, bring into light the mystery woman to play out the final chords and spread across the world a "message of peace", because she will finally bring peace to my life, making herself and my music "one."

I chose this attitude, I could have killed myself. The word "choice" is a simple word. It's not all that simple to accomplish but we all can. Thanks for all your emails while I was out on this emotional journey, and mystery woman, "I love you."